Behaviour Matters


As a species we don’t go through a stage of metamorphosis, we are born as a human and we die as a human.  Yet we do change, we go through many stage in our lives some are physical, social, emotional and in most cases intellectually too.  Yet our life styles, social standing, and ideas can change to a very great extent with very little in put and a lot of circumstantial change.

I was raised in a fairly wealthy family, the youngest of three children.  Poverty and doing with out were not major memories of my childhood, I didn’t get everything I wanted, but deprivation was definitely not on the horizon, as much as I thought I was being hard done by at the time.  I had a pretty good standard of living and many choices.  Then I got married, had two wonderful children and although finances were a bit tight, again we didn’t suffer and I was able to be a stay at home mum for all the pre-school years of both my children.  But life had changed.  Then due to separation, depression, stress things became more difficult.  By this time I had a job/career, but as a single parent this was difficult to juggle with work.  finances became very tight, I would walk 4 miles to work, eat as little as possible so that the children got fed, remortgaged the house a number of times, lived of credit cards, and contemplated suicide. (I have considered this about three times in my life so far). My life was unrecognisable to me at this time.  How had I ended up so lonely, sad, and scared?  I didn’t show this, just kept pushing through, laughing and joking, socialising and pretending.  I am not sure how I eventually cam through this, but I did, life was good again.  Still a single mum, but holding down a good job in a college, working term time only, so I could be there for my children. After a few years and more thoughts of suicide, I found a wonderful person to live with, life was good, then the financial burdens of life took over.  My partner lost his job, then I lost mine, we sold just about everything we could, made a loss on a lot of items, the house was about a week from repossession, we owed money left right and centre, refused to answer the telephone and screened callers, we knew who we owed money too and what their telephone numbers were.  But again we got through it.   Now I am in a good place in my life.  Looking forward to getting married in a few weeks. During the darkest times I have always thought about my children, they have brought me back to the lighter times, and I have promised my self I wont go back there again.  All of the events in my life have also contributed to a change in social standing in life, from a upper middle class child, to a middle class working family, to a lower class single parent, back to middle class working single parent, through a brief period of upper middle class due to employment position, to lower class unemployed benefit claimant, and now returning to the lower middle class.  To me it’s all a bit silly, but there are a lot of people who really yearn to move up through the class system.  I am more concerned about being a happy me, than worry about what other people think.

Finally how do our thought and ideas change.  Some of the changes come just through the aging process and where we are in life.  But other ideas and thoughts are influenced by circumstance.  Currently my ideas about business are being influenced by both circumstance and opportunity.  A year ago I started OAG consultants.  I used all of my savings (well most of them) which came from an inheritance to start a business and work for my self, as working for other people at the time was not a viable option.  My idea was to help people working in the care sector understand behaviour.  A simple concept, but it changed, and it changed and it changed and now it has changed again.  The basis of the company is still the same but the way to get there changes almost daily in response to finance, need and availability.  I am not sure how much this is down to poor planning on my part, not researching thoroughly enough, and how much it is due to changes in circumstance, but my company is changing all the time. 

So although we are born human and die human so there is no biological metamorphosis in our lives we do change in many ways, we adapt to circumstance, our ideas reflect the situations we are in and if we don’t keep moving and changing we will suffer.



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